Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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