Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
