I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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