shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This toilet bowl is my home.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
