Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
