Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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