Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
