see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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