I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
