Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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