can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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