she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
