what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
