Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
