I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
