My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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