Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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