Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
