Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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