I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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