you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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