i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
