I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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