Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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