Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
