she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My breasts were aching with rage.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
