dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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