I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
