College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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