If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
