Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
