i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
