try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
