So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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