You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let's get the cat blown out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
