There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
