I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
"it" just moved
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
