Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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