You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
