One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
