Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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