I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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