friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
