According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
