I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
