I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
