The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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