put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
