I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
