her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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