but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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