My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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