Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
